Just Walk Away

"Hey Kyle,
I'm having truble deciding when would be a prefect time for meto finally retire. I'm just shy of 68 years old, but I still have a goddamned canoon for an arm despite having the shoulder of a corpse. For the most part I was loved at my last team, but any one willseem like a savvior when you've had chad "noodlearm" penninngton throwing 48 MPH change-ups to cornerbacks.

I want to keep playing, but I'm tired of people fucking polking fun at me. Should i retire or should I stick around and play for the vikings?

Thanks,
Brett F.
Kiln, MS

p.s. Congratulashuns on the 5,000 passing yard. I remember my first five thousand passing yards... I also remember my last sixty thousand."


First off, what's your beef with Chad Pennington? He's a good guy. What's your prob...

Nevermind.

But the vikings? Really? Viking fans don't even like the vikings. At least it won't be hard for you to get to the top of the depth chart, because Tavaris Jackson is as dumb as they come.

I really don't think that you want to end your career in Minnesota. Why don't you just let it go and retire gracefully. Let people remember when you were badass, not when you had a graham cracker for a shoulder. Plus, who are you going to throw to in Minnesota? Bernard Berrian? I used to play with Bernard Berrian back when I was with the Bears, but I swear I can't remember what he looks like. I'm not sure if I even met him. There's actually a possibility that Bernard Berrian doesn't even exist.

Anyway, just walk away. You're pretty fucking old, and nobody wants to see a legend go out like this.

Just walk away.